Helping You Feel More Connected

Individualized Couples and Marital Counseling and Therapy:

Together we can find ways to address and resolve whatever issues stand in the way of your having a satisfying and loving relationship.

We generally start therapy by creating a clear understanding of key issues in the relationship and come to agreement about what they are and in what order of priority they need to be addressed. I try to establish an atmosphere of honesty, openness and safety in our counseling sessions. I ask couples & marital therapy patients to try to listen to each other as if they are hearing what the other says for the first time. We explore the core differences, their origins and their impact on the relationship. Together we create a vision for the relationship based on each persons and the couples goals and values.

What Brings Couples into Therapy and Counseling:

"He was the love of my life and now I can't be near him". "I can't stand for him to touch me". "I am so sick and tired of her family, they are always hanging around". "We use to talk for hours, now no matter what we talk about, it ends in screaming and yelling". "He has not planned a romantic date for us in years".

Relationships with others are as source of greatest joy as well as most intense pain in our lives. Romantic relationships present potential for deepest connection, attachment, feelings of love and being loved. We also know how often relationships change over time and are a source of deep dissatisfaction.

Frequent areas of conflict that therapy and counseling can aid include: romance and sex, communication issues, unresolved resentment and hurt, parenting issues, in-laws, and issues with commitment. During counseling sessions we'll explore how these factors can be affecting your relationship, and assure that therapy address each over time.

Romance and Sex:

Many couples in committed relationships complain of diminished passion, desire, romance and sex in their relationship over time. This can be caused by a number of factors, in couples therapy we can work to the causes and factors that have lead to romantic estrangement and focus counseling on finding ways to reconnect and rekindle passion.
Communication Issues:
It is impossible to have a healthy relationship without honest, open communication. Couples over time become entrenched in unhealthy communication patterns in which they feel stuck and of which they may not be aware. These patterns come out of each person's history as well as particular dynamics between the couple. In couples counseling and therapy we try to explore and identify negative patterns and pave the way for other possibilities.
Unresolved Resentment and Hurt:
"You always hurt the one you love the most". People in relationships inadvertently or purposely say and do hurtful things to each other. These feelings fester over time, poisoning and sometimes destroying love and closeness. It is important to talk and bring these hurts and resentments into the open so the couple can start to heal and find some resolution. These issues can be explored through counseling and therapy.
Parenting Issues: There is always some adjustment to change that occurs in relationship upon arrival of a baby and the transition from being a couple to becoming a family. Disagreements about nurturing and parenting often bring out core differences. Having a child while joyous, often creates conflict regarding shared time, finances, career/work issues and intimacy. Counseling and therapy can help identify root causes for these type of conflicts

In-Laws: In-laws may be a source of conflict and challenge many a relationship. The relationship with one's spouses parents' present conflict issues that require empathy, compassion and acceptance. Understanding and accommodation of each other's family and interpersonal dynamics goes a long way in avoiding power struggle that is often presented in these situations. Therapy and counseling can help couples understand triggers and develop more open communication.

Commitment Issues: How to respond to a situation when only one person is ready to proceed to the next step. What do you do when the one you love is not ready or ambivalent about commitment? This can be a very painful and difficult situation. But it presents an opportunity to express and reach a deeper understanding of interpersonal issues and responsibilities. Therapy and counseling can help couples reconnect, and bring their relationship to new levels.

Pre-Marital Counseling: A high percentage of marriages end in a divorce. Experience has shown that only time proves the value of our choice in a partner. Many marriages end in a divorce because we make a wrong choice. Early attraction does not guarantee a strong relationship. People change over time in ways contrary to early expectations. Choosing a right mate requires insight into who we are as well as who we believe our partner to be. Instead of fantasizing future perfect life sit down and identify your mutual goals, ideas of love and affection, family concepts, career paths, household responsibilities and duties, shared recreation, conflict resolution and, of course, sex.